I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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