Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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