Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My bed smells like the plague
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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