the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
