My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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