If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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