when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
