Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
