what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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