I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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