Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
