just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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