She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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