Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
