do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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