YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
