im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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