Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
