i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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