Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize