in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
