Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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