I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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