How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
