Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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