finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
