eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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