i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
