My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
