i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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