Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
