I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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