I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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