she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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