Sry I called you an 8
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I am available for nakedness
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
