is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
