and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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