I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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