I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Floor bacon is actually really good
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
