I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
