too bad you live with your parents still
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
