There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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