Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
