I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My vagina just recognized that song.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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