i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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