its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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