hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize