did you get engaged???
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest