I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It was confusing and full of hummus
These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.