So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
