there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My pussy is not your playground.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
