you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
