I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
