Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
third nipple confirmed
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
