there was a trapeze. enough said
love makes seman taste better
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
