I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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