Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
