Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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