I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
