at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize