no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
