I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
