Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
