he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
