She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
