Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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